eveRyday is a stRuggLe...~~edited

salam..

yeah..

everyday is a struggle..

i dont know why..

keep telling myself that everything will be ok..

keep telling myself to be happy...cheerful..

but then..even before i I went out from my room..the image of my lab's environment is killing me..

almost every morning, some tears will show up..

and alhamdulillah i go to the lab with car..

so in 5-10 minutes journey (depend on the traffic and the route i take)

i have time to cheer up myself...and tell myself to do everything because of ALLAH..

and that's what keeps me strong...

I LOVE RESEARCH...that's for sure..

but, i don't enjoy doing it anymore in my own lab..

maybe because at first i don't really want to continue my study here..

i planned to do it in some other place...but through some talking..and discussion..

i decided to stay...half-willingly............................

just like when i was form 4..i want to go to a better school..in Selangor..

but my mom felt that it's so far from home, so she talked me to stay in Perak..

my results in form 4 was quite bad..because I'm struggling to forget my previous plan...

huhuhuhu......it was in form 5 that I gained back my confidence and joy in my study...

alhamdulillah my SPM results were good..but still not qualified to be a doctor or a forensic hahhaha...

and the history just happened again!

and this time i think it's worse...

because...last time, i still have my beloved bestfriends and friends..that always there for me..

help me...doing things together..learn new things together...

but now.....

~~not everybody is not selfish~~~hehe..read it and dont misunderstood~~

still have some unselfish friends..but they are also busy with their research in their labs...and we just see each other maybe, once a month ehhehehe...

but, feel grateful cos i also have seniors from other lab..that can cheered me up whenever i feel down just by hanging out with them...thaNx akak2!!

anyway~~~~~~

I'LL BE STRONG....PLEASE PRAY FOR ME...

I HOPE THE STRUGGLE WILL BE WORTHY...IF NOT HERE...MAYBE IN THE HEREAFTER....

AMIN~~~

p/s: seriously..i miss my MTM 06/07 friends....and the moment when all of us were together...it felt blessed when you went through hardship and happiness together without selfishness...i miss my old frens from schools too..but in UPM..my MTM friends and the moments were the best...